I've been a 'wanderer' lately, from one place to another place, even to the universe.
My feet could not stop at a permanent one. The feeling was overwhelming, probably lost somewhere. Sometimes I can be so silent, sometimes I can be so active to ask so many questions, I shall keep it balance, I am trying.
It had been 2 years since the trauma , I thought I had been through them, I thought I had let go because what past is past. It shall be, I assume.
I gained my so called freedom from the pain I used to live with, now I have more encounter.
It suppose to be a great one, and yes it is, No it is partially no?
I am changing, inside out, and I am pretty much aware of it.
I am not too open about it because not many people can accept the fact, I assume again.
Probably it is just my assumption.
A doctor- general practitioner commented my decision to have the operation
Doctor: "You should try this method instead of did the operation you know?"
Me: "But I have been seeing so many gynaes, I never get any better."
D: "Yes because they prescribed you XXX but this one without XXX so you will be cured from the illness."
Me: "...... (Ehm, i came here for normal consultation for my bad cough and etc, hello?)"
D: "Anyway, you have done the operation, don't bother. So any fever? "
I was offended, deep in my heart. Sometimes it is troublesome to reveal your past health issues because doctor will ask: So when is your last period?
I am a pulmonary embolism survivor
I am the adenomyosis survivor-is there such a word for this? I don't care.
I've recovered from all the depression symptoms, anxiety, trauma- I thought so.
I am strong enough to walk through it at the young age when faced the most challenging and life threatening illness-I believe so
Sometimes it's just like a wave, you have to learn how to sail in the wave and there is not much time to think and digest what is happening.
Do I perceive them as a shameful thing?
I should not.
Is there any support group or advocacy to create awareness for pulmonary embolism/DVT, and adenomyosis illness? Not that I know of.
When there is an appropriate time and opportunity, I wish I can share with the population to allow them to understand and have the awareness.
I'm no longer the 'old me'
